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Mom made beans for dinner
You know I ate 'em all 
She said come get your coat on we're going to the Mall
You're gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese

Waiting there for Santa 
Thought that I'd exploded 
The gas bubble grew bigger with every "Ho, Ho, Ho"
Tried my best to hide it thought I was doing swell 
But when I sat down on Santa's lap he hollered " What's that SMELL!!"

I farted on Santa's lap now Christmas is gonna stink for me 
I farted on Santa's lap now I'll get nothing under my Christmas Tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates but I'll get none of that 
I asked him for a lot of things I'll have to do without 
'Cause when I sat down on Santa's lap 
I let one slip out

I farted on Santa's lap now Christmas is gonna stink for me 
I farted on Santa's lap now I'll get nothing under my Christmas Tree

On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed without a sound 
Went down to the living room just to take a look around
It was then that I saw Santa he's near the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me
Put them on a pile got up to turn around
And blew a fart with such great force our tree almost came down
And so I'll always cherish that special moment when 
I realized even old St. Nick rips one now and then

I farted on Santa's lap and Christmas didn't stink for me
I farted on Santa's lap and Santa left one on my Christmas Tree

 

Merry Christmas

 

 

 

 

 

 

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